Our connoisseur of cool, Bobby Black, turns his coworkers on to cannabis cake direct from the dark side, perfect for Yule, the longest night of the year. As loyal High Times readers already know, our office’s own unique version of casual Friday has come to be known as “Space Cake Friday” in honor of the tradition that consistently inspires one of the more culinarily inclined employees to bake up a special treat to share with the rest of us at the end of each week.
I’m a decent cook, though not much for baking (cookies, anyway), but after
having enjoyed the fruits of others’ labor for more than a year, I decided it
was high time to strap on the apron (hey, it’s black with skulls, so it’s still
cool) and whip something up for our annual holiday party.
But this must be no ordinary cake. After all, I have a reputation for decadence
to uphold. Oh no, it had to be a confection of such pure sinfulness that a
single bite would reduce even a seasoned stoner to a drooling zombie, yet a
treat so sinisterly sweet it would smack the most devoted weight-watchers clean
off their wagon. Simply put, I set out to create the most diabolical dessert
man has ever known and damned if I didn’t succeed.
Blackout Cake based on the famous Brooklyn Blackout Cake I enjoyed many times
growing up in Bensonhurst came to life as a triplechocolate nightmare: devil’s
food cake with dark-chocolate syrup in it, infused with a half ounce of
post-vaporizer cannabis dottle and one and a half grams of dark hash, with
dark-chocolate pudding in the center and dark-chocolate frosting on top (as
well as hash sprinkles). Now, sure, I could lie and tell you this was all a variation
on a secret Black family recipe that my grandmother bequeathed me on her deathbed,
but let’s be honest: I bought the mixes from a supermarket. Hey, I told you I
wasn’t much for baking. Nevertheless, I spent most of Thursday night putting
the finishingtouches on my masterpiece before placing it in a decorative
holiday tin.
The next day when we went out for our holiday lunch, I sprung the Blackout
Cake on my unsuspecting coworkers, and it was the hit of the party so
decadently seductive that the entire tin practically disappeared right before
my eyes despite clear warnings about its substantially stony strength.
Naturally, my hardened coworkers managed to take it all (mostly) in stride, but
if you woke up this past Christmas morning and didn’t find any presents under
your tree, I must extend my deepest apologies. You see, I saved one slice for
Santa and left it out for him with a glass of milk on Christmas Eve. When I
woke up the next morning, he was passed out on my couch with dark chocolate
pudding smeared all over his long whitebeard.
INGREDIENTS:
- ½ cup vegetable oil
- ½ ounce finely ground cannabis buds
- 2 grams black hash
- One 18.25 ounce box Betty Crocker SuperMoist dark chocolate cake
- mix (with Hershey’s Special Dark Syrup)
- 3 eggs
- One 3.9-ounce box Jell-O chocolate instant pudding
- 2 cups cold milk
- One 16-ounce tub Betty Crocker Rich & Creamy dark chocolate
FROSTING:
Equipment: Cheesecloth or fine mesh strainer
1. Preheat the oven to 400°F.
2. In a small saucepan over low heat, combine the oil and the cannabis and simmer
for about 40 minutes, then strain to separate the cannabis fiber from the
infused oil. Return the oil to the pot and add 1½ grams of the hash and simmer
another 15 minutes until the hash is entirely melted.
3. Mix together your cake mix following the package directions, adding the eggs,
1⅓ cups water, and the infused oil and mixing together. Pour the cake mixture
evenly into two lightly greased 8-inch round cake pans and bake for about 35
minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the cake comes out clean.